Moonrise Kingdom-Kino Shout! Review

Moonrise Kingdom (2012)

Dir: Wes Anderson (yeah, I know!)

Starr: Jared Gilman, Kara Howard, Bill Murray (obviously), Bruce Willis, Frances McDormand, Edward Norton.

Verdict: 5/5 (a masterpiece)

Great Films that are similar: A Bout de Souffle, Bande a Part, La Strada

...................................................

Prologue: The Anderson Generation

Now, I like Wes Anderson, but...

If you've been to college, then you already know the scenario. Late in the night, after a long college party, the hippest kid in the room will put on a Wes Anderson movie. Many will cheer, many will groan. Alass, the fans of Wes Anderson are known as hipsters-fashion is their only religion, new age fun their only decree.

So, what is a Wes Anderson movie??

It is one in which characters look like this:

oh boy.

Plot development involves moments like this:

woah mama

Romance looks like this:

whaat??

and, uh, whatever....

"Y-M-C-A!"

And, so, for 14 years after Anderson's breakthrough sophmore triumph Rushmore (1998) it seemed that Wes Anderson was doomed to remain little more than the subject of debate, a root of college memes and wannabe-intellectual hubris....

Well, until this happened....

Moonrise Kingsdom-The Redemption of the Hipsters

Godard, Truffaut, Fellini-somebody done usurped your asses.

Yes, in telling the story of two teens eloping into the wild on a remote island, our crocodile-shoes -wearing friend Wes has made a masterpiece. Moonrise Kingdom, unlike much of Anderson's other work (mentioning no names in perticular, Mr. Zissou), is a triumph of both style AND substance. A movie in which dorks and hipsters alike are given dignity, motivation grace, and elegance. A movie in which two young lovers allow their actions to speak louder than empty quips, and the influnce of nature's stunning might and music's grace are never far away from the film's plot.

With and 82 on Metacritic and, currently, a 95 % from the coveted rottentomatoes.com (http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/moonrise_kingdom/) one might be forgiven for seeing Monrise Kingdom as some sort of film revolution from Anderson. Well, it is. With regular cinematographer Robert Yeoman, Anderson has created one of the most beautiful looking films made thus far in the 21st Century. the fictional island of New Penzance is rife with sweeping cornfields, tempestuous beaches, and generally mind-blowing (not to mention romantic) scenary. The setting is still very personal to Anderson (New penzance is based loosely on Fisher's Island NY) but the film simply has more visual dynamic than the square, stagey quality of many recent Anderson works. Look out for the slow zooms as Suzy views the world through her binoculars-this is a technique sadly under-used in modern film.

Pictured-the work of men who could steal your girlfriend.

But, in the end, a romance is all about the characters. And, low and behold, this is where the real revelation takes place. For the first time in a long time, Wes Anderson provides us with characters that we can believe in. The two principles themselves have a quiet dignity. They are unashamadely violent in confrontation, yet so passionate in a romantic scene on a beach in which they dance, kiss and explore each other's bodies for the first time (a Godard homage, my favourite scene in cinema thus far this year). Jared Gilman is terrificly deadpan as Sam but, for me, it's Kara Hayward as Suzy that steals the show. The delightfully crazy Suzy is played to perfection by a young actress who is a real life member of Mensa. We cannot quite tell what is going on behind her beautiful eyes-but we would like to know.

As for the adults-well, Bruce Willis is the love-scorned cop, Edward Norton is the well-meaning boy scout, and Frances McDormand gives another remarkably real performance as a female professional stuck in a dull marriage. Even Bill Murray shows emotion this time out....

He does! I swear.

The climax scene on the island's church roof pretty much embodies the film. As a storm swells up and the elements beat down upon them. Sam and Suzy stand together atop a church roof, prepared to jump if they are not allowed to be together. It is a love story right out of the 1960s; it feels like the product of a time when love was simple, passionate, and really cool. And, yes, this is a very cool film. It's also funny, stylish, fun, and mature.

So, is this another one for the hipsters? Well, yes, but it is one for everbody else also. Perhaps, in the future, when the college students throw this film on at parties, the whole room could be proud of Wes Anderson for one little moment.

One magical, chair-sittin' moment.

Thanks for your time, folks!!!!!

.......................................................................

Magic Moments-The Coolest Moments from the Coolest Movies

Sometimes cinema is just amazing. Occasionally, for a moment in time, the movies can find just that perfect fusion of sight, sound, and character to resonate profoundly with the audience that first experiences it-then they pass it on for all of time to appreciate.
Without sounding anymore like a prat, here are some chronologically arranged movie moments that have (for one reason or another) achieved immortality...

Boobies! from Inspiration (1915)

Quite simply, and according to most expert speculation, this was the first time in Hollywood history that a leading actress got her kit off in a non-pornographic role (yup, on-screen porn is as old as cinema!!). Yes, it was in fact Audrey Munson who was the first leading lady to bare all. The context was relatively innocent-she was playing an artist's life-model. Nevertheless, the statement was made....

Lil' Kim pays homage to Audrey Munson.

The Big Entrance from Nosferatu (1922)

I considered not including this as I felt as though the film-gods were yelling 'duh' at me with the ferocity of a conservative critic. But, look, this is the moment that essentially created the 'he's behind you' horror sequence that has featured in, um, every horror film since.  As a terrified Hutter cowers (rather foolishly) in the corner, the door to his chamber swings open unnaturally and Count Orlok (they did not have permission to use the name "Dracula") literally hovers in. Max Shrek's animal-like expression is priceless.

A horror legend is born! All slow-build, sudden-jump scares are the offspring of this amazing sequence. So get in line for gratitude Hitchcock, Carpenter, Craven, De Palma, and Argento! (except for Hitchcock, he is dead and cannot form a line).

Friendly competition in The Seventh Seal (1957)

Firstly, this may be the greatest film ever made. Secondly, all things considered, the image of a man playing a chess match with death in the middle of the Cold War is perhaps the best metaphor in cinema history.
So, now that all of the necessary facts are out of the way, here is the scene: Antonius Block is a Knight returning from the crusades. This man has it all, in that he is a depressed, war torn man dying of the plague. Sheesh. During a silent moment on a beach, he meets Death. A playful being, Death invites Block to join him in a chess match. Should Block lose, Death will take him and all those that he holds dear. Not cheery, but amazing. An atomic age metaphor that still feels piercingly relevant today.

Cruisin' form Easy Rider (1969)

Do you like big spokes?! Is Dennis Hopper's big bike what you see when you close your eyes?! Then you, my friend, have already been converted!
Aptly released in the same year as the first Woodstock Music and Arts festival in 1969; this true gem essentially made the American filmmaker young again. In the late 1960s the dated studio system still loomed over the business. Thus, young indie filmakers found it virtually impossible to even get a job after film school, let alone direct their own indie gem. Until, that is, a drug-riddled Peter Fonda and Dennis Hopper tore down the highway on choppers to the sound of Stepphenwolf's "Born to be Wild". With this image of rebellion, it was asserted that a new generation of indie filmmakers would define the next era and the death of the old studio system and the rise of Film Brats Spielberg, Lucas, Coppola, Milius, and De Palma to the ranks of era definers. Thank, Easy Rider!




"I'm Easy" from Nashville (1975)

(*note-this is my first time discussing my favourite movie on this blog-yipee!)

What follows is the perfect ark of an antihero: Of all the onscreen womanizers, Nashville's Tom Frank has to take home the Golden Phallus. This disgruntled folk-rock singer beds every woman he meets. Reporters, bandmates, groupies, nobody is safe from Tom's mighty trouser arsenal. But, like the great anti-heroes, there is soul beneath the gruff exterior. His true love, Lily Tomlin's middle-aged housewife Linnea Resse, eludes him. Amidst his usual sexual barrage, he invites her to a gig to woe her with a song. In a room full of women, everybody thinks Tom Frank is singing to them. This scene represents my favourite use of a song in film, as well as my favourite romantic scene. Keith Carradine won an Oscar for the original song "I'm Easy."

"An old joke..." from Annie Hall (1977)

How important is courage in making a good director great? Well, given the first Oscar win of a skinny, effeminate, Jewish New Yorker, it would seem that the answer is very. With his roots in stand-up comedy, a young(ish) Woody Allen decided to use his best asset to devastating effect in the opening scene of Annie Hall. The opening, Woody looking directly into the camera and delivering a humorous monologue may not have been new to fans of European modernists like Godard, but, for American cinema, this moment of originality marked a self-reflective turning point for American cinema.


Christopher Reeve is the first true comic book hero in Superman (1978)

If there is magic in the first time we see Christopher Reeve soar through the air in that blue and red suit, then it is to be found for the most part in the film's influence. As the world chews over Marvel's new Avenger's Assemble (2012), and obsessively awaits the ominous The Dark Knight Rises (2012), I would like to take a moment to acknowledge the movie that got the ball rolling. Tim Burton's Batman (1989) may have made the most headlines, but, with its nostalgic setting, roguish bad-guy, tentative love story, and momentous-come-tragic leading man, Richard Donner's Superman produced the formula for a phenomenon.


First-Person Horror in Halloween (1979)

For better or worse, John carpenter altered the horror craft forever with this one. Carpenter's biggest innovation, however, may not even be the slasher motif. Instead, how about the opening scene in which the camera is Michael Myers! Indeed, here is a sequence that invites us to witness murder as though we are the perpetrators. Carpenter knew that the scariest way to be introduced to the deathly Michael Myers was to briefly become him. Clever stuff.

Stuck in the Middle with irony! from Reservoir Dogs (1992)

Okay, okay, so Tarantino stole the ear-slicing moment from Sergio Corbucci's Django (1967). Nevertheless, there are moment within QT's daring heist-homaged debut film that resonate on a wholly original wavelength. Particularly, the Mr.Blonde/Marvin Nash tortue scene that seem rather revolutionary in their own right. Tarantino has often remarked on the reaction that this glib scene recieved. I feel this is the case because, in fact, this is the most famous moment at which the pop-culture reference got truly nasty. Think of how Michael Madsen moves to the melody of Stealer's Wheel. As Tarantino points out, the joy we experience as an audience in the first few moments of the scene makes us accomplices in the more gruesome parts. His deadpan glee is a true Generation-X moment. Nice steal then, Quentin.


There's always time for Coffee from Heat (1995)

They appeared together in one of cinema's great masterpieces...they just didn't get to be in the same room at the one time. Yes, for the 21 years after Godfather Part II (1974) it seemed like Al Pacino and Robert DeNiro were unstoppable in Hollywood. Evidently, the only for they didn't care to vanquish was one another. Then, alas, after two decades of waiting, there was the mother of all cafe scenes. The plot of Heat builds slowly to the face-to-face confrontation between Pacino's grizzly cop Vincent Hanna and DeNiro's ace thief Neil McCauley. Parallel to lay the fact that every self-respecting film fan knew that the scene represented the first time the pair had shared the screen. Which thespian shall rule them all? Magic.


Raining Cats and...?? from Magnolia (1999)

Of all the movies in all the world, these frogs had to drop into this. Not only did Paul Thomas Anderson prove that with his 1999 masterwork Magnolia that 1997's Boogie Nights was no fluke, he practically reinvented the filmic wheel.  Set over two days in the not-so-sunny San Fernando Valley, Anderson's masterwork evokes the great ensemble pieces of Robert Altman in that it has over a dozen principle characters. It's all about fate and, Anderson says, parent-child relationships. We'll take him at his word that air-born frogs fit the aforementioned motifs.



Have a nice day!!!!
..................................................

Cameo-A tribute to the Most Memorable Minor Movie Characters

More often than not, the characters that linger in our minds are the main characters of the movie. Be they protagonists/antagonists/or just ugly, they are the ones that will be forever associated with their respective films. And why not? After all, it takes a whole movie just to develop them. Anybody can remember an Andy Dufraine, a Michael Corleone, or a Ferris Bueller...

Forgot me?? Not the brightest, are we?!

Sometimes, however, the plot thickens. On occasion, a character with a minor role will be so ridiculous/bombastic/all-over-the-shop that they will steal scenes and even upstage the principle characters. This is when characterisation is truly ingenious. Though most minor characters are divisive and banal, the following nutty wonders just refused to go unnoticed...

Firstly, we'll take these guys as a given:

Bobba Fett-Star Wars Original Trilogy

The Jesus-The Big Lebowski

Blake Glengarry Glen Ross

....and Gary Busey.

Okay, now that's over with. here are 10 of my most beloved minor characters:

10.

Character: Woman with Three Boobs (Lycia Naff)
Movie: Total Recall (1990)

Who she is: Need you be reminded. Arnie is greeted with many things on the exotic but dilapidated city streets of Mars. Nonetheless, few images of inner city seduction have ever quite captured the shock value of the woman that literally has more than a man could ever ask for.

Stand out Moment: In a midst of a movie that features Arnie, Kuato, and Sharon Stone as a dangerous seductress, this classy gal actually manages to steal the show in Paul Verhoven's futuristic thriller! Seriously, the woman is on screen for all of 30 seconds...and yet who can forget her?! Perhaps the most deserving entry on the list...


9.

Character: Scotty (Philip Seymour Hoffman)
Movie: Boogie Nights (1997)

Who he is: Known for playing intensely masculine roles, Hoffman played the camp and closeted Scotty in Paul Thomas Anderson's 1997 masterwork. Always lovelable, Scotty is the a solid crew man and an ernest (if lovestruck) friend to the film's large-membered protagonist Dirk Diggler. Whether things are groovie or a drag, Scotty always carries himself with positivity and class. Look out for his gentle tears when Dirk fights with Burt Reynolds Jack Horner.

Standout Moments: Just look at him! Through many stand-out moments, I would have to rate his attempts to kiss Diggler at new years as one of cinemas most bizarrely charming moments.

yup.

8.

Character: Mammy (Hattie McDaniel)
Film: Gone with the Wind (1939)

Who she is: Sometimes a memorable character is about much more than just one movie. By the time filming of Gone with the Wind began in early 1939, veteran black actress Hattie McDaniell had long-since grown tired of the racism of Hollywood. With that in mind, Hattie decided to play the negro servant Mammy with both and tongue-and-cheek nod to black stereotypes and an unexpected air of strength and command. She is often the rock of the O'Hara family, particularly when they fall into poverty. By comparison to the weaker servant, Prissy, she appears as a true matriarch.

Standout Moments: Anytime that she displays command over Scarlett (Vivien Leigh) or Prissy (Butterfly McQueen) during times of crisis.


7.

Character: Leon (Chris Sarandon)
Film: Dog Day Afternoon (1975)

Who he/she(!!) is: In one of cinema's most hilarious reveals, the 'wife' that Al Pacino's bank-robbing, "Attica" screaming thief Sonny Wotzik keeps referring to turns out to be not his spouse, as the police had assumed. Instead, we find his "wife' to be non-other than the colourful pre-operation transvestite Leon. Pacino's character is, in fact, robbing the bank to raise funds for Leon's gender reassignment surgery. Oh, and did I mention this film is based on a true story?!   http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dog_Day_Afternoon#Production

Standout Moment: It has to be his fainting escapade in the police holding-room. Oh Leon, you' so high maintenance!


6.

Sometimes an image speaks louder than words ever could.

Character: Exploding Toxic Waste Guy.
Film: Robocop (1987)

Who this poor bastard is: Quick-what's the most ridiculous scene in film history?? If you are anything like me, you'll at least give this...er...iconic moment some thought.
Sure, there are many, many moments of obscene violence in Robocop. In fact, many of them even involve the Red Foreman form That 70s Show. But, for me, a man getting doused in so much toxic waste that he literally turns to liquid should pretty much take the (extremely disgusting) cake in any film. Don't you?! Paul Verhoeven, what do you dream of at night?...

Stand-out Moment: In a word-this:

Tango'd.

5.

Character: Walter Peck (William Atherton)
Movie: Ghostbusters (1984)

Who he is: The property game is tough. A silver-tongued archetype of the 1980's "greed is good" rage, meet the inspector so stingy that he won't even grant lenience to the spirit disposal industry. That damn generator!

Standout Moment: You just have to watch it for yourself: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cDQk4lGSEJQ


4.

Character: Carson Welles (Woody Harrelson)
Movie: No Country for Old Men (2007)

Who he is:  Quite simply, carson is the very definition of a great minor character. Indeed, Woody Harrelson's roguish bounty-hunter is not necessary to the plot in the strictest sense. Yet, in a strange way, he seems to define the odd, rustic, strangeness of the Coen Brother's interpretation of Cormac McCarthy's dark tale. Free-wheeling and flamboyant, he is the polar opposite of the film's deadpan antagonist Anton Sigur. This guy doesn't last long, but boy does he relish his few moments.

Standout Moment: His wry job interview: "Tell you the truth, I don't think charm had that much to do with it."

3.

Character: Machine Woman (Brigitte Helm)
Movie: Metropolis (1929)

Who she is: The machine woman-every misogynists dream?? Of all the entries on the list, this is without doubt the most intelligent. I mean, three boobies woman was great and all, but she wasn't an allegory for the Nietzschean Ubermensche and a criticism of rising fascism (or was she?!).
For those who don't know the film's plot, here goes: tired of the human workers in the catacombs, mad scientist Rotwang builds Metropolis leader Joh Frederson the perfect worker-the first of a race of machine men. With more than a few fascist undertones, it is up to Frederson's son Freder to convince his father of just how bat-shit evil this notion is. Interestingly enough, the creep machine woman is played by female star Brigitte Helm, who also plays the female protagonist Maria.

Standout Moment: With a Satanic pentagram in the backdrop, we witness one of cinemas all time coolest moments of pioneering effects work as the machine is being born.

2.

Character: General Jack D. Ripper (Sterling Hayden)
Movie: Dr. Strangelove, or how I learned to stop worrying and love the Bomb (1964)

Who is he: You would think that an unhinged psychopath responsible for the apocalypse would be a lot less lovable than this. Meet jack D. Ripper doesn't negotiate with terrorists, he doesn't let them last that long. This utterly paranoid lunatic (played ably by the great Sterling Hayden) can drop a nuc' with the best of them and feeds Peter Sellers some of the best straight-guy lines in comic history.

Standout Moment: "I don't avoid making love to women, but I do deny them my essence." This guy makes me want to be impotent!

And, finally, the best....


1.

Character: LT. Kilgore (Robert Duvall)
Movie: Apocalypse Now (1979)

Who is he: Perhaps the very embodiment of conservative anger, this pompous, careless, psychotic is about all you can think, of for the 20-odd minutes of sheer masterclass that Robert Duvall provides us on screen. Every war film has it's lunatics, but its the fact that we can never quite decide whether this guy is a courageous leader or a nihilistic tyrant that gives this guy his astonishing depth. Willard (Martin Sheen) remarks "You can tell he wasn't going to pick up a scratch in this war." Perhaps the scariest thing we learn from this witty maniac is that it takes a hateful man to conquer. We'll never look at a surfboard the same wat again.

Standout Moment: Frankly, all of them! We'll take "I love the smell of Napalm in the morning" as a given, how about "Charlie Don't Surf!"?!


Well that's it!!!!

Ps. Honorable mention:

Jimmy Two Times-Goodfellas (1990)

Genaro-Jurassic Park (1993)

Keep the faith!!!!

The Hunger Games-Kino Shout! Review

The Hunger Games (2012)

Dir: Gary Ross

Starring: Jennifer Lawrence, Josh Hutcherson, Woody Harelsson, Elizabeth Banks, Wes Bentley

Verdict: 4/5

Great Films that are similar: Metropolis, The Most Dangerous Game, Battle Royale


.................................................


Firstly, let's bitch about Twilight. As a matter of fact, let's bitch about young adult fiction in general. Why Not?! I mean, doesn't it sometimes appear that we live in a pop culture dystopia of teen lit/film that serve to do nothing but exploit the weaker elements of teen culture for cold, hard cash? Seriously, am I the only one who saw the frist two Twilight movies and thought "Man, this is condescending to teens!" Admittedly, I have never read a Twilight book, but it does seem to me that, vampire and werewolf alike, those kids need a good talking to. Remember the sequence (if you bothered to go see it) in Twilight: New Moon in which Bella misses Edward so much that she...just sits around brooding aimlessly?! Wow, they sure do have teenagers badly typecast, dont they. Think about it:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MnBeQ4_RlQM

Look how the seasons literally change around her whiny face. The camera engulfs her as she just plain refuses to stop moping. Christ, her Dad even has to convince her to go to the movies with a friend because her depression is becoming so corrosive. Seriously, I respect clinical depression and all, but what is going on within a teenage girl must be far greater and more fascinating than shirtless boys and emotional extremes.

Teen lit, much??

So, along comes the much anticipated screen adaptation of The Hunger Games. Initially, one might have worried. The film does have all of the potential trappings: teen pin-up actors, tempestuous young romance, macabre world portrayals, the list could go on! However, within 10 minutes of the film's opening credits, right around the point at which young Katniss bags her first deer onscreen, one realizes that this is a more desirable breed of teen fiction.

The tone of The Hunger Games alludes to the likes of Battle Royale; there are even hints of Schindlers List. For those who don't know the plot already, the story centres around the post-apocalyptic country of Panem, formerly the USA. The flamboyant citizens of the capital hold prisoner the other citizens of the country in 13 districts. Every year, two teenagers from each district are selected at random to compete is a death-match tournament called the Hunger Games, a ritual televised for the sadistic and flamboyant citizens of the capital. The selected teens are thus known as "Tributes". It is a Third Reich ethos, the people of the capital consider the peasants of the districts to be a lesser breed, deserving only of a good meal and fine accommodation before they are sent to die.

Sheesh, I know what you're thinking-"this must mean some serious teen brooding!"....

Pictured-An annoying, depressed teen, moments before Tweeting "I hate God,  Capitalism is  wack"

...well, thankfully, no. You see, our protagonist Katniss is somewhat of a hero. A realistic optimist, Katniss raises her sister and keeps her household in the complete absence of parental figures. A victim of an apartheid state that views her kind as little more than vermin, Katniss doesn't so much breed as she does the following hunt, cook, sing songs of freedom, defy gender expectations, and, eventually, volunteer for a death-match in her sister's place. Yes, actress Jennifer Lawrence once again returns to the kind of dignified underling that she portrayed so beautifully in her indie film breakthrough Winter's Bone. She leads a tremendous cast of exceptionally well-developed characters that sees Josh Hutcherson play a charming love interest/rival combatant, Woody Harrelson plays a well-meaning but drunken Hunger Games veteran, and Elizabeth Banks absolutely shines as a prissy hypocrite from the capital.

Even Slash from Guns N' Roses got cast in the film:

Pictured-a man who is definitely Slash. No question.

But there is no sign of over-sentiment in The Hunger Games, either. Children die and the villainous organizers of the games go unpunished (at least in this installment). Even the central romance of the film is questionable as it may be an elaborate rouse on the part of Katniss to win "sponsors" from the viewership. Indeed, there are heroes and villains in equal measure in The Hunger Games, among the most disturbing moments of the film belong to the clique of bloodthirsty "tributes" from district 9, relishing in the morbid game and killing with other tributes with great glee. Tragic, too, is the fate of the kind tribute Rue. For me personally, though, the real treat is the mainstream return of American Beauty star Wes Bentley (the weirdo who loved the plastic bag) as Seneca, the pompous organiser of the games. Seneca lives in constant fear of Donald Sutherland's President Snow, who rules over the country with an iron fist. It is Bentley's role that communicates to us the notion that, in this  world, there is tragedy amongst the villains too.

I hate Donald Sutherland.

Be warned, director Gary Ross (the weirdo who loved Seabiscuit) keeps an at times Saving Private Ryan-esque realist handle on the violence. The film moves from flamboyant to gritty effortlessly and, thus, so do we. Ultimately, we witness what is perhaps a better testament to the teen demographic than any tale involving oily, shitless, werewolves and pasty-skinned vampyres could offer. The Hunger Games is a bit of an indulgence, but it is a good one. I officially endorse the coming sequels and anticipate them. Indeed, this is a film that I would highly recommend-to anyone.

Though you will have to get your laughs elsewhere:

lol

rofl

The Gizz Factor-10 of the Most Insane (and Genius) Film Related Images!

10.

From the universe of: American Psycho (2000)

Why it is Insane:

Patrick Bateman-this is your life!

Imagine taking the most horrendous line in a film about despicable, capitalist violence and glorifying it as though it were Joycean wisdom. This is it! For those that wear women's stockings over their faces and wish that executions were televised events, here is the fridge magnet for you!

Why it is actually Genius:

Just look at the result! Look at it's tasteful thickness, it's subtle off-way colouring. It's almost elegant. Hey, isn't that the theme of American Psycho?! Superficial material values covering acts of heinous aggression. Yup, this one is a real thinker.

9. 

From the Universe of: Total Recall (1990)

Why it is insane: Here it is-the screen-grab that Sartre would have favored. It is no less a screen-grab than it is Occam's Razor. Here, the insanity of one of history's most ridiculous films meets the insanity of all-too-obvious screen text in meme heaven. I call this piece "Combustion", but "EEEW" would be sufficient.

Why it's actually Genius: Because, let's face it, this is a statement about Arnold Schwarzenegger's entire career! Seriously, what do you need to know about thirty years of Arnie acting that you don't learn from this screen-grab?? I would certainly recommend this over End of Days, perhaps even Running Man.

 

8

From the Universe of: Star Wars 

Why it's Insane: If "Gay Empire". "Time for War", and "Suckadelic" on a toy box aren't ridiculous enough for you (and they should be, for goodness sake), think of the implications of an entirely gay clone army. I'm guessing we would hear much more clunking of helmets. Aren't the clone troopers already derivative enough?!

Why it's actually Genius: Two reasons. Firstly, it's fantastically camp and imaginative! isn't that what this Saga is supposed to be about? Secondly, I bet george Lucas is made that he got screwed on the licensing of this obviously unofficial product line.

7.

From the universe of: The Silence of the Lambs (1990), and loosely The Break-Up (2006)

Why its insane: Well, sometimes the subtle implications of a film just isn't enough-the fans have to run with it. Yes, there was a certain strange charm to the interactions between young FBI-trainee Clarice Starling and deranged serial killer Hannibal Lector. Somehow, though, I don't think Clarice's legs can be opened as easily as a bottle of nice Chianti. 

Why it's actually Genius: Because it's the most cathartic use of a mid-rate rom-com ever conceived. You see, though any theories of attraction between Clarice and Dr. Lector are grossly misjudged, it is cathartic for the fans sake to break the tension. Just look at that tagline, those cheeky eyes! Finally, this case can be put to bed. 

6.

From the universe of: Lord of the Rings, X-Men, Ian-freaking-McKellen.

Why it's insane: Well, Sir Ian McKellen showed up to a gay pride rally wearing a t-shirt which basically represents shameless self-promotion rather than the righteousness of his cause. He doesn't even seem too enthused about it.

Why it's actually Genius: Because Gandalf and Magneto are masculine and bad-ass. Here is the best gay rights statement possible. I am a gifted and legendary actor that has entertained millions-I just happen to be gay. I'm wiping away the tears as I write this!

5.

From the universe of: Troy (2004)

Why it's Insane: This one is a real smorgasbord. Doesn't this just sum up the extent to which Troy sucked. seriously, Brad's contrived grin as a plane sails by-it says more than words ever could.

Why it's actually genius: Okay, so I am a huge Brad Pitt fan. Nonetheless, even I must confess that he can't play method parts. Thus, what is amazing about this screen-grab is that Brad Pitt's shitty acting is actually more ridiculous than the plane. Look at it! We can forgive that 747, but Brad's The Devil's Own glare will have to go! The buck must stop here, readers!

4.

From the universe of: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974)

Why it's Insane: I don't know of this is an outtake, a fan pic, a behind the scenes photo, or all three. Furthermore, I don't care! The sight of the decrepit, invalid Grandpa escaping from his basement lair to basque in the afternoon sun is truly a sight to behold. i didn't know he could leave the house! Did they wheel him out! Would that attract police attention?! 

Mind=boggled.

Why it's actually genius: Look how contented he looks?! Look at those snazzy ram skulls on his fancy rocking chair?! The movie should have ended with this obscene moment of horror tranquility.

3.

From the universe of:  The Big Lebowski (1998)

Why it's Insane: This kind of blasphemy would make Monty Python consume their own trousers.

Why it's actually Genius: Look at the adoration od the disciples! Way to sell a joke guys! 'Bout time Da Vinci was used to flog a Coen Brothers meme. The adoration of the figures make Quintana's thrusting nothing short of transcendant.

(note-the hilarious feet under the table.)

2. 

From the Universe of: Total Recall (1990)...naturally.

Why it's insane: Needs no introduction.

Why its actually genius: Merits no explanation.

And, finally...

1.

From the Ghostly universe of: Ghostbusters (1984)

Why it's Insane: So here we have it-the saddest and most baffling of the lot. In trying to clutch the remaining few straws of celebrity before fading entirely into the camp-icon-abyss, it seems that Ghostbusters star Ernie Hudson got indadvertedly violated at a convention signing...by himself.

Why it's actually Genius: This is profound in a sad way; a kind of comic tragedy. There are so many sad connotations to this picture when one reflects on it. This is a man who has been truly screwed by his former self. Ernie's status as an camp icon has been a double-edged sword. On one hand, playing Winston Zeddmore in the Ghostbuster franchise has brought him fame. On the other hand, it has rendered him a life-long, and now clearly desperate one trick pony. 

There you are-a pixelated lament.

Thanks for Reading!!!! KEEP SCROLLING AND TROLLING!